war and peace

I emerged today from 5 days sick in bed with an upset tummy and rediscovered the beauty of being alive and healthy. Coincidentally (really?) Leila's mood also flipped from unbearable - I realize this is subjective - to flowery, which is the least I could do with given that for the first time in Coline's life I am alone with the girls as Cristiano went for a field trip.

I cannot describe how I felt (soft, touched, blessed) when at dinner tonight Coline patiently, delicately, took my hand from her plate, in a way that meant that she could manage feeding herself without my help. And of course I let her, even though it was soup and she was handling it as finger food (another very subjective notion). There has been so much fighting with Leila lately that this moment of peace just seemed unreal. I hope that Leila and I will find a way out of the aggressive relationship we are in, which on the occasion I became conscious of.