together

Since last July Leila does not go to school and Coline does not sleep during the day. Actually, every once in a while she does and then I feel sorry for myself unless I am in the mood for a party until late at night. I already felt like a full time mum before, it is now as if time has stretched a little longer. It has been a lot easier than I thought, though. I did not take Leila out of school in order to switch to homeschooling. There have been many reasons. She never wanted to go to school, and was giving us all a hard time before and after school. Also, school is expensive here, and given that she was not making it every other day it did not seem to be worth it. Another reason is that I would have opted for a non-religious school, had I known before that there is such an option around here. So, it was decided that Leila would have a break from school until the beginning of 2013. There have been days where she was desperate to play with other children and even though she was repeatedly told that all the other children were at school, she was not keen to go back. The truth is that it has been very good for us at home. Sure, I have been offering fun activities, but I think that what she has enjoyed the most is to have found a friend in Coline, and also to have discovered her ability to play according to her imagination. Of course, one may say, she is a child and imaginative play is part of childhood. What we saw, though, is that it took some time, many hours of boredom and many unsuccessful attempts to get us, adults, to play with her, before she got into the habit of creating her own games.

Some days have been hectic, of course. We all have our bad hair days, and given our situation, where one does not get out of the house without the other two, it can sometimes be tricky to deal with a bad mooded component. But all in all it has been a great few months spent together, the three of us. For two years I could feel that my relationship with Leila had to be mended. It think that we are getting there now. Remembering Leila going into a fit when Coline was a baby and she was not getting enough attention, I am amazed to see now how much compassion and friendship there is between the two of them, how little jealousy. Tintin, on the other hand, still cannot see me give them a hug without asking for his share.

I recently read a list of "ways to "reset" when the kids are having a hard day" and found it so resourceful and full that I decided to compile my own. This is what works for us when we are stuck in a spiral of negative emotions and need a magic trick to get out of it.

: : painting - finger and body paint for Coline, gouache or watercolor for Leila. She likes it most when I draw something for her to color in and around or rather to create from.
: : blowing soap bubbles (after many disappointing attempts to use dishwashing liquid I invested in proper bubble liquid and found it totally worth it)
: : dancing to the sound of piano music (my electronic piano has 50 recorded classical tunes that they have been dancing / jumping / running / doing acrobatics on for more than 6 months now). It includes wearing a dress or skirt that flies when they spin and many variations, such as lately crawling under and through a chair...
: : face paint.
: : play-dough - from making it to playing with it.
: : lighting up a candle, singing happy birthday and making the flame dance by softly blowing on it.
: : going for a walk to the nearby river or park. that one is tricky because getting out of the house is one of the most stressful situation, but when we do manage to get out, it rarely goes wrong. Sometimes just going out to sit in front of the house does the trick.
: : watering the plants on the terrace.
: : playing hide and seek.
: : making popcorn and orange juice (Coline and Leila squeeze the oranges on the orange juicer until I feel too bad for the indigenous people whose villages are flooded for us to waste electricity).
: : having a bath or shower, or lately, because it is hot here, having a dip in our mini-swimming pool.
: : "fighting" with Leila, and rolling on the bed or the floor with Coline.

when I really need a break or just time to prepare a meal, they watch a cartoon, but unfortunately that does not make their mood any better.

What do you do when you need to "reset"?